Lonely

“Painting” is a very possessive lover. “He” doesn’t allow you to leave him for a long period of time. I you dare to do that then you have to suffer in order that he comes back to you.

That has happened to me. After Ireland I stop painting and I strove all my being in trying to be there or at least very near… Luis believed in that dream and the dream came truth. We have got the residence in England. Luis is already there, me and the kids will reach him in 8 months…

8 Months! That seems so much for me. It seems so much because I feel lonely…
I thought I would never ever feel lonely because I have my painting. That’s the problem, I abandon painting for a while and now I am struggling in order that “he” comes back to me. I keep doing “painting things”: drawing, canvas preparation, impasto, etc. It is like loosing a lover and trying to flirt and seduce him in order that he comes back.

Darth told me that loneliness is dangerous because it attracts bad memories. She is right.

Comments

Darth Tater said…
Then, keep flirting with "him"! Even though I rather think that painting is a "she"... because of the Muses? But there is no such thing as a Muse of painting! Anyway, the way "she" needs to be treated, the way your mood changes "her", her tantrums... "She" needs time, money, patience... "She" will come back soon, don't desperate and keep your mind clear and your heart warm!
P.S. You are not lonely, I am here for a big hug!

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